There is a reason they call them "Patients"

After having spent ten hours tucked away in the corner of an emergency room while the doctors vainly searched for the missing portions of my brain (which would include most of it), I discovered why they call customers of hospitals "patients." It's a term of hope despite all evidence to the contrary, after all they couldn't very well be honest and call the customers "impatients" could they?
"Um...nurse, would it be okay if you unhook the various cords, whistles, and bells to which I'm attached? I hate to be a bother but I haven't hit the john in 7 hours now." Nurse: "I'll check with the doctor." She disappears for another 30 torture filled minutes while you dream of being locked just outside a bathroom with a drippy water faucet next to your leg. This is why they call you a patient.

It is for this reason that the Detroit Lions are called "football players." You and I know that they are mere doormats over which, the rest of the league can run on their way to another excursion to the Lion-less playoffs. This is also why they call Brittany Spears a "singer;" or Brangelina a "couple." Sure it's about as close to the truth as sworn testimony from Barry Bonds and Mark Mcguire, but one can be hopeful, can't one?

Ten hours sitting in an emergency room while the hospital attempts to pay off the monthly utility bill by doing medical tests on you that would make a guinea pig cringe in fear will turn even the most ADHD person into a true patient patient (who invented English grammar rules? A patient patient is not a redundancy-vanishing breed though he may be). After all the only alternative to being a patient patient is fleeing the hospital while vainly trying to hide your derriere from the various hospital staff who will gather to literally laugh at your...well, you get the point.

If rules of honesty applied emergency room customers would be called "impatients." Of course this means that customers in restaurants would be "waiters" and waiters would be referred to as "dawdlers." "Politicians would be "spendthrifts;" Banks would be "rat holes" (down which to pour your money); sailboats would be "sale boats;" and of course retirement would be known as "return to work because the bankers vaporized your money for you."

Oh for some vocabularic honesty!

20 January 2010

A day off. I'm headed down to Grand Traverse Pie Company to spend some time with Badger, then home. I think that's all the responsibility I have for today. Maybe some drumming or workout this afternoon. Other than that, I may try and finish reading "The Island of the World," and knock out some Logos 4 training.

16 January 2010

Off to clean the stables this morning with Cherie, then hopefully some drumming practice this afternoon, maybe a couple of NFL games this evening. Going to be a full day.

I both swam AND biked yesterday and while the knee didn't feel great, it feels okay this morning. Icing it up after biking or running helps a lot. In fact, icing up a lot of places helps a lot. I'm like a broken down old pack mule, game but decrepit.

Ben home this weekend for work. Kelly off to work this morning at the Catholic retreat center in Dewitt. Matt at an all day training session for Campus Life helpers. Life is busy.

14 January 2010

I have an outer ear infection, so I called in sick for my next 4 day trip. So far I don't have any pain, so if you can have a "good deal" illness, this is it. I meet with Tim Lambert today and then go out to the stables with Kelly and Cherie, then home. Fairly warm today—in the '30's.

10 January 2010

Church this morning, then off to work this afternoon. 1 leg to SFO, sit for 25 hours and 1 leg back.

Yesterday, after Bible reading, we went out to the stables and cleaned out the horses stalls, then up to Owosso to help Lance and Mike dig out from the snowstorm. Then back home for a nap. Then a 3.5 miles xc ski trip. Then a couple of movies with Cherie, then bed. A good day.

9 January 2010

Off to clean horse stables this morning with Cherie and Kelly. I love horses! Then up to Owosso to help dig Lance and Mike out from the latest snowstorm. Maybe some xc skiing. Church in the morning. Off to SFO tomorrow afternoon for a 2.5 day trip.

Night Skiing!

We had the most beautiful snowstorm of the year last night. No wind. Moderate temps. I went out skiing about 1830, straight down Jason Rd. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Blessed. I can't describe the beauty of being out alone on a night like that. When you stop skiing, the snow muffles all the sounds, you don't need any light because what little light that refracts off the snow is plenty. If I had the strength I would have been happy to ski all night. I LOVE nights like that.

Went home and watched the BCS Championship game. It was quite a game with a lot of plot twists and surprises. Alabama won, but Texas gave it a good fight. Colt McCoy, Texas quarterback, was knocked out of the game on the 5th play, which seriously damaged Texas' chances. He was interviewed after the game and he said, "I give God the glory. I do not ask why things happen...I just hold onto the Rock." Great testimony. Thanks Colt!